Do Things That Scare You – adamtcroft.com

A few days ago I had lunch with some folks at Microsoft. You wouldn’t think this is a big deal to me (I’ve worked at Microsoft for ~2 years), but the caliber of people I was meeting with and the reason we were meeting gave me some butterflies.

I wasn’t quite freaking out, but you get the point.

In addition to that, I just released a book (and even put it up on Amazon, but don’t buy it there). I’m also working on an ambitious software product with an absolutely insane deadline, and a blog on a company’s website to go with it. In a few weeks, I’ll also be working to take on a new client.

The point I’m trying to make isn’t that I’m busy, though I do like being busy.

I want to point out that I’m not actually superhuman. Doing these things scares the figurative crap out of me.

I’m going to spend the rest of my time with you today arguing that, if you’re not, you should start doing things that scare you too.

Growth

Why do I encourage you to give yourself butterflies? Or make yourself so nervous that your stomach goes into knots? (Ok, you shouldn’t make yourself sick – don’t push yourself that hard…)

Because it makes you grow.

In fitness there’s a philosophy called progressive overload. Essentially, you get stronger when you push yourself past what you can comfortably do right now. You don’t even have to push yourself a lot! If you can do 3 pushups, do 4 today – get it?

The same applies to life. If you’re not actively doing things that push your boundaries, then you’re quite literally actively regressing.

If you’re on your couch after work every day watching Netflix and never doing a single pushup – you’re never going to get more in shape.

If you never push yourself to learn one new thing, or try and land an exciting job, or speak, or write, or design a sound, or whatever your thing is – it’s not going to just magically show up in your hands.

I quite literally as a human being don’t want to be average. That means that I must do things that make the majority of people uncomfortable or quake in their boots – literally. It’s weird and uncomfortable to me, because I also want to fit in and be cool with everybody. These two desires are diametrically opposed to each other. I cannot do awesome things that alienate some people, and yet also have everyone love me – not possible.

That means a whole lot of butterflies in my stomach.

Being “above average” to me means a lot of things – a great marriage, money, great work, location independence, no debt, etc. But that means I must do things that encourage and work towards all of that. I can’t just say “I want a million dollars” and have it magically show up. I have to have the courage to figure out ways to make that happen and act on it.

For some, your goals might be a lot smaller – that’s perfect! Maybe you want to graduate school and work for a game company. Then you need to do your homework, and preferably you push yourself to own your homework and get mind blowing grades. That might mean getting help from a teacher, or doing study groups, or any number of ego-affecting things. Eventually you’ll graduate and you’ll need to start contacting companies and doing interviews. That may scare the heck out of you, you may feel like you’re horrible socially and you’ll fail! Guess what? You need to take baby steps and start learning to grow.

Others of you might be crazy like me – you could already be speaking at major events like SXSW. While others will look at a person in that position and go “wow, I want to do THAT!”, even you need to push yourself and figure out what scares you. What ways you are deficient and need to grow. What will help encourage you further?

The After Effect

Ok, enough scaring you. Do you know what happens when you act on things like this?

Imagine a time in your life where you approached something scary. Right now I’m thinking about the first time I asked a girl on a date – but I realize that might not apply to all of you, so just visualize a frightening situation where you triumphed in the end.

Wait, what did I just say?

Triumph.

Yeah – so one of two things happens when you hunt the scary things in your life

Success, and therefore elated triumph
Failure, and therefore learning

When you succeed, you’ll literally start punching clouds. Yeah – like, fist pumping – c’mon! You will be so freaking excited and amazed that you’ve now done something that mere moments ago you felt was impossible.

Every day that is what drives me to do crazy things (well, it’s one of the reasons…). It’s a huge hit of dopamine for me, I love it.

I’m also going to argue that #2 in my list doesn’t actually exist. I mean, there’s no such thing as permanent “you’re a failure” failure. Like, you’re not a failure as a human being. I hope 100% of you don’t commit enough heinous acts in your life that you’re ever considered a failure as a human being. Personally I believe you can be completely messed up, on drugs, and utterly not awesome – and still turn it around 100%.

Instead, when you fail at your goal – meaning the thing you fell short of the thing you were striving for – it’s just a learning experience. If my new book sold zero copies on release day (it didn’t, yay!), I would be going back to re-evaluate what I did and why that happened. That’s all. Not “I suck forever at business” or “Nobody wants to hear what I say” or “I won’t ever sell a product”. I just made a “wrong” choice somewhere and need to try again.

Get Help

Start doing this today if you’re not already. The only thing holding you back from a ton of awesome adventures you can totally take is your own fear.

I’d encourage you to find a buddy who encourages you! Tell them to push you into hard things. Most people won’t – most people don’t want to see you suffer (yes, this will require suffering – butterflies, remember?)

If you don’t have anybody like that, or don’t know anyone like that – you can cultivate that sort of relationship by finding someone you can encourage like that. Trust me, they’ll go “wow, you are so awesome, thanks for believing in me!” and will start reciprocating.

Again, as always, I believe in you. You don’t need to believe in yourself to start. You also don’t need anyone’s permission – though you have my permission too if you need it.

Share what you’re doing with me – I’d love to hear about it!