Today, what I have to say to you – you don’t want to hear.
I know that, because I don’t ever want to hear it either. Nobody does. Bear with me.
I was either a freshman or sophomore in high school when I first heard of a game called Halo for a new game system Microsoft was about to come out with – the Xbox.
At the time, I was a snot-nosed kid with all sorts of issues that would proceed to get worse over the years immediately following. My GPA was in the process of dropping rapidly. Same with my prospects for college. I was a huge loser, and worst of all for the situation I’m describing with Halo – I was an unabashed PlayStation fanboy.
To this very day, I’ve never owned a Microsoft console – and I’ve worked for them!
Now, 18 years later – I spend a decent chunk of my week at the company who originally developed that game.
I’m really fortunate. I also worked my ass off (and still do – most people tell me I’m doing too much).
But the moral of that short story is this –
The amazing moments, life stories, and career you want? Those things take time.
They never, ever, ever come in your time.
Panic
There are a good number of you I interact with weekly – and I love doing it. I don’t know what it is about me, but I love helping people to a fault.
So I read your emails, and I answer most of them. A bunch of you send me things like this:
“Hey Adam,
I’m in a situation. It’s… a really unexpected – probably good situation! But, I’m kind of freaking out and I don’t know what to do.
It could be that I’m interviewing with a company and I’m scared that I’m going to blow it and I think I’m going to suck. Or, maybe I have too many good options and I don’t know which one to choose!
Really I just feel overwhelmed because I never ever expected anything good to happen to me because I barely believe in myself and I’m just shocked because inside I’m a huge nerd and I really just wish someone would make all of my decisions for me because figuring out life is really hard when you’re afraid to fail and you feel like an opportunity will never ever happen again.”
If that sounds familiar, it’s okay. If you’re getting mad at me because I sound like I’m making fun of someone, well – I am.
This is what I used to sound like.
Okay – I’m not perfect – I still sound like that about some things, sometimes.
So, I feel mildly qualified to comfort you in this emotional wreck because that’s been me too.
Here’s what you don’t understand right now in the moment of your panic –
It Takes Time
I’m sure that you know this – but the matter we’re discussing is a matter of perspective. Panic is often induced by a seemingly important decision that appears much bigger on a shortened timeline.
Say you’ve only got 2 months to find and job and you have no leads and you don’t know what to do – that’s panic inducing.
While my advice isn’t a solution for homelessness – the majority of you aren’t facing that when chasing your audio dreams. I’m speaking to that majority here.
Instead, it’s most often a false, self-induced, “if I don’t walk this tightrope perfectly right now I’m going to fall off to my doom never to get a shot ever again!” – which makes your desire to cry out for help so hard make a lot of sense.
But here’s the thing – you’re wrong.
If you think that you have to play your cards perfectly or else you lose your shot at a dream career, you don’t.
If you think that you can’t fail because someone’s going to see you and you’ll be “blacklisted” forever, you’re wrong.
If you feel like nobody’s ever going to give you a shot and you have to be in some sort of “special club” to get a job in games, you don’t.
It just takes time, and consistent effort. Not even a lot of effort – just good, consistent effort.
I know, because I failed, a lot.
18 Years
At the start of this story I told you that I spend my working days at the company that originally made Halo. For now, that’s true.
You’re bound to look at that and think I’m really cool, unique, special, talented, and whatever other positive adjective you can think of. But, that perspective discounts these facts:
- In high school, I was put in a special math class for kids who were essentially failing in Algebra
- I used to not do homework and excuse myself from class so I “wouldn’t get caught” – until I got called out
- I was accused of cheating on a test
- I failed out of freshman college computer science, and nearly dropped out of college
- I spent a lot of money to move to Los Angeles, and failed at “making it”, then had to pay that debt
- I had a college degree and a professional audio education, but couldn’t even get a job as a bagger at the grocery store
- My first entertainment industry job had nothing to do with audio
- I turned down the opportunity at said job twice
- I moved to Seattle with zero plan
- I paid rent my first January in Seattle with tax return money because I made so little the previous year
- I drastically undercharged clients – for years – because I didn’t know what people made for a living and was too afraid to ask
- Within the last 2-3 years, I gave the worst interview of my life
- I almost got out of games 2 weeks before being offered a contract at 343 Industries
- In the last 2 years, I presold a product on this website that zero people bought
That’s a lot (and there’s plenty more), but I want to make a clear point that I’m not so special that I could waltz into a career without failure or panic.
There’s certainly some of you reading this who’ve had a harder, worse time than me. There’s plenty of you who feel like you’ve been working really hard and the whole world is against you.
There’s some of you who just feel like you don’t know what to do.
It’s taken me almost twenty years to go from being a complete lowlife who had no shot, to feeling like I might actually have a story that helps encourage others at some point.
You don’t, you can’t build yourself in a day. Though our time alive is – in the grandest scope – very short, it still takes time for most of us to make any sort of impact.
Take a deep breath.
Give yourself a little grace.
Have patience.
Then get back to work – you’ll get somewhere awesome, in time.
I believe in you.
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