What’s in it for you? – adamtcroft.com

Last week my buddy Akash Thakkar put out an email that I found myself with an insatiable desire to piggyback off of.

(and if you’re not on Akash’s email list – then you’re literally choosing to make your career more difficult for yourself, don’t do that)

Without reprinting that email here, here’s the gist of what he had to say:

Asking for the thing you want makes your intentions clear, instead of hiding behind a veil of false kindness.

Kindness is totally appropriate – you should definitely be kind. But don’t be kind because you’re afraid of asking for the thing you want and you’re trying to soften the blow because you expect someone to tell you no.

Instead, be clear and honest, then express your thanks for and curiosity about the other individual.

So first, take that to heart – but now I’ve got a mental “trick” that will supercharge your connection and relationship with the person you’re contacting.

And yes I’m using “buzzword” language here – but I’m not kidding. You’ll suddenly find people instantly like you a lot more, and you’ll be putting in way less work to build your relationships.

What’s in it for me?

You are constantly focused on the question in the heading, and it’s killing you.

Just today I got an email from someone asking me to check out their new game. It was a canned, mass email. Nothing personalized. All of the “nice” usual pleasantries we’re talking about were included.

I closed it. I’d love to care about their game, but honestly:

I don’t have time to
I don’t care

That latter point, even in its harsh truth, should read more like this –

They didn’t give me a reason to care.

You’ve heard the adage “everyone’s so focused on themselves that nobody cares about you or your problems” right?

Everyone knows this. I’m not special – I care about myself and not whatever you’ve got going on either. It’s not my attempt to be rude, but I’m working on my own things and there are a lot of you who have a bunch going on.

So how do you make someone care – because that’s what you want, right? It’s certainly weird to say. If you verbalize it, it may feel a little gross and manipulative when phrased like that. But you do want to gain someone’s attention sometimes.

How does that work?

Here’s the secret – you change the question.

You normally ask, what’s in it for me?

“Hey thanks so much for your time – will you check out my demo?”

“Will you look at my game?”

“I’d really appreciate it if you’d share this on social media!”

“Rate, review, and subscribe to my YouTube channel! You know what to do!”

Those questions are all focused on what you want the individual you’re speaking with to do for you.

Instead you should ask, what’s in it for them?

“I’m applying for a Technical Sound Designer job at AAA developer. I know you have some relationships with people there, and I want to ask if you’d put in a word with them or be a reference for me. I’ve attached my recent resume and a few bullet points below detailing my experience with Wwise, Unreal Engine, and a :45 gun sound demo. I’m aware I’m asking you to stick out your neck for me, and I really value your reputation, so if you choose to do this for me I’ve included as much as I can to make sure you’re set up for success.”

“Hey friend – I just shipped my first game! I’m super proud of it, and we’re trying to get the word out. I know your time is extremely limited and valuable, so here’s a 2:00 YouTube video that showcases the game. If you are curious to get your hands on it, I’ve included one download code for you. These are extremely limited and we’re not handing them out to just anyone.”

“Hi! I really love your work on this successful game. I’m aiming to follow your lead in the future, and have built a short demo reel of the work I’ve done. Rather than asking you to watch the whole thing (I value your time and expect you’re busy), would you mind watching :15 of this video <link to specific timing here> and giving me your first 3 bullet point thoughts on the wizard spell sounds? Your previous work shows that you’re masterful at them, and I’d really value your input. Please don’t bother watching the whole thing – it would be a waste of your time.”

Notice how these are a bit different? Because you’re thinking about the other person, you’re forced to be a little bit more detailed with your ask. You’re forced to respect the idea that they’re super busy and don’t care at all. Then your ask appeals to them as much as possible.

In the first case, you’re recognizing that you’re asking someone to put their reputation and time on the line, so you do everything you can to make sure that they look brilliant even though all the initial credit will go to them for recommending you.

In the second case, you’re respecting their time and dangling a carrot of a free download code. Most people you care about aren’t going to care about the game you’re really proud of. But most anyone will watch a 1-2 minute YouTube video, and if they like what they see on YouTube then they’ll probably download your game.

In the third case, you know that almost nobody loves to review your demo reel. Most people feel super sheepish even asking for this. So instead of blasting lots of people, think of one person you admire and what you would ask them about a short bit of your reel. Chances are that once they watch 10-15 seconds, they’ll watch the rest – but that’s not what you ask for.

If you pay really close attention, you’ll notice in some of these there’s negative reinforcement too. The copies of the fictional game, for example, are rare – human psychology is weird in that people will respond to this rare thing even if the rare thing isn’t mindblowing. With the demo reel example, you’re explicitly telling them not to watch your whole reel. Do you know what most people love to do every day? Exactly what someone else tells them to do. I’m kidding.

Practice this

So do what Akash suggests – be upfront, honest, and ask for what you want without buttering someone up first.

But before you make that ask, ask yourself what’s in it for the person you’re reaching out to.

Make it easy for everyone to interact with you. If you make it a no-brainer or beneficial for the other person instead of just thinking about what you want, your entire life is going to change.

Quickly.

What’s coming up

To prep you – because I value your time – my guide to ChucK programming is going to go up for presale on Wednesday, February 13th.

I’ll be emailing you 3 times to remind you about it.

As always, presale prices are the cheapest my products get (usually – unless I’m giving all the proceeds to charity like we with Quit Aspiring did last year)

Those three emails are going to hit you with the following:

What the heck ChucK is
Why you should care about ChucK and live, on-the-fly, interactive programming in the context of technical sound design for video games
3 really cool things you can do with ChucK that you’ll learn how to do if you buy the guide

Then, if you buy, it’ll be in your hands before the end of February – just in time to plow through before GDC.

Then on GDC week, we’re going to have even more fun.

Until Wednesday…