One Way to End your Emotional Death Spiral

I will repeat this regularly and often until you get it through your head.

You are not what you create.

Self Esteem

For a very, very long time, my personal identity was tied to what I produced and did for a living.

I am achieving my dreams/am an audio professional and therefore I am good/can be proud of myself.

Now it could be – I write regularly, run a business, etc and as long as I keep that up, I’m good.

I know that you’ve dealt with this too.

It’s a huge cause of depression among artists – if you’re not making your craft (music, sounds, whatever) you feel like a big failure of a human. Your ego is torched. This is nearly universal.

It’s also a cause of making it difficult to get back on the horse.

“I haven’t made music in so long, it probably won’t be any good. What’s the point of even making anything anyway if it’s just going to suck?”

So how do you get beyond this, putting down the huge and well-used shovel you utilize to dig your own emotional holes?

Divorce Yourself from Results

“It won’t be any good”

Did you notice that line in the sentence above?

I’d ask “to whom?”, but that’s actually the wrong question. The answer to this refrain you tell yourself is

“…so?”

“…and?”

Those of us who are stuck often just want results and validation. You see someone else making music, creating sounds, doing art, and you get inspired. It’s an awesome feeling due to the transfer of enthusiasm and vibes.

But when it gets down to making something yourself, often the magic simply isn’t there. Maybe you don’t quite know how to pull everything together the way you’re hearing it, maybe you’re just having an off day, who knows?

But when you stop creating, the memories of the bad times sit in your brain much more deeply than the good times.

I’m sure there’s a neurological explanation for that – but it’s beside the point here.

I know I, and likely you, tend to dwell on the things we’ve done poorly more than the things we’ve done well.

Thus creates the spiral where it’s difficult to get back to just doing, because we’re more concerned with what the result will be.

Will someone else like it?

Will it make money?

Will it get me “likes”?

Will people share it?

Will I get new followers?

Will I like it, even?

The mind shattering thing of all of those questions – other than that none of them matter at all – is that you are not in control of any of the answers.

And if you’re basing your execution of creative output on these things – you’re not in control of your output, of your creation.

I wrote about goal setting the other week, and this is no different.

The only thing you can control is if you make something. You don’t fully control how good it is, how people will respond, or even how you respond.

You’ve made tracks that one day you thought were great, and later you thought were awful. You’ve done the inverse as well – made something you thought was awful, only to return and say “oh, that’s not that bad!”

I don’t need to reiterate that you don’t fully control the responses of other people, I hope.

The only way around this mental block you have is to sit down, work, and pay no attention to the outcome.

Even as an employee – learn your boss’ needs and requirements, work to meet them, but instead of agonizing with your emotions about if it’ll all work out or not… simply finish your task. If your boss hates it, you go back to work. If your boss sucks, and the deadlines are bad, find a new company to call home.

But especially for yourself, divorce yourself from results.

I deal with this at least twice a week, myself.

My natural impulse is to write here on my website, share it publicly, and eagerly await responses. Will anyone email me? Will anyone like, share, or comment on social media? Will I get new followers?

This is all exciting, and ultimately, for the most part, completely worthless.

The only thing I can control is that I show up, and if I do – I’ve done my job. I can feel good about myself, even if I feel like my content sucks!

(Humorously, if I think my writing is bad, you all tend to like it even more – thus my encouragement to divorce yourself from even your opinions)

You won’t be perfect at this. But you do need to practice it, and practice it often.

Put something out, turn off your phone (or uninstall the apps you check for validation). When you stop caring about what everyone thinks, or your personal opinions, you’ll get more out and get where you want to be going creatively – much, much quicker.