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Destroying the Transactional Relationship

transactional-relationship

This week I started reading this book by Jay Abraham.  I don’t know what you’d call Jay’s title, but he falls somewhere between “super smart business coach” and “the guy who runs a business about starting businesses”.  Regardless of your thoughts on those – Jay’s clearly very wise when it comes to business and personal relationships.  I can’t say clearly enough that this $10 purchases is one of the better ones I’ve made.

I’ve come to be reminded in the course of this book, and events of today prior to writing this blog, that I’m pretty incredible at what I’d call “transactional relationships”.

I draw a very thick line between my relationships that exist primarily due to the exchange of money (whether be clients or coworkers) and those that don’t.  Even with those that don’t, I will make you work extremely hard to get close to my true heart and emotions.  I would argue I have less close friends than fingers on a single hand.  With most of you I have a relationship with where we exchange money, platitudes, space, or simple ideas and call it friendship – but in reality it’s nothing but fragile and fleeting.

I think a lot of people might nod their heads and agree with this idea.  Plenty of people, especially today where we’re all so simultaneously connected and disconnected, don’t have a lot of deep meaningful relationships.  It’s kind of normal.

So it hits me hard and it literally hurts emotionally when Jay discusses his “Strategy of Preeminence”.  In short, this is his idea of how you become the best in your field – engage in deep relationships where you serve as a protector and trusted advisor to others.  Of course the examples in the book are about ensuring you give your clients the best – but he intends for the “strategy” to extend far beyond that.

So if you’re looking for audio-related advice, and I should be able to easily be able to guide you and provide great advice or a path to get it.  I should also check and see who else you know who might need help, because I want to care for the people around you too.  To go even deeper, if you are struggling in a completely different area – say buying a house – maybe I even give you the name of a trusted Realtor if I have one.

The examples are cheesy when written, but it all boils down to the fact that I should care about you.  A lot.

When I see you at a meetup, or on Slack, or at coffee – I should ask “how are you?”, mean it, and listen really intently.

So it hurts me deeply – because I believe I suck at that caring part.  You may disagree from your perspective (and if you do, thank you), but I feel like I have much more to give you.

I guess that’s truly why I’m here writing and putting myself out through products and other means.  I’m trying to care more about and for you, and change your life for the better.

I hope you find this and if you struggle with this too – you find that you’re not alone, and that gives you hope that you can engage more.

For me it’s sink or swim.  I have a desire to help grow audio professionals and the entertainment industry, so that means working to be better at this relationship thing daily.  Also, I just don’t sink well.


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